December 26, 2016

To Those of You Who…

Autistics will observe and be quiet a long time. they will watch for consistency. From my perspective it is in being present and for someone who wants to sit beside me, that persistent consistency opens my heart more closely to them. The touching intention brings me into a place accepting a petitioned response by an offer from another that I have established comfort with. It’s in the sharing piece they created that bridges an openness to saying “OK, -I am open to that”.

The agreement and openness in trying something new with them is because there has been trust and honesty established. A followning through of words by actions hat shows me a deeper level of caring found. Trying any new thing is hard, and will always be hard. The bridging piece to openness is in being together and the part of the agreement that made that is to try to make life easier. I look for a will to work until,” together”, a unified system that is found that can support a new behavior or pattern of communication connection and expansion. Watching for an Idea with a plan thats made together—to use a method including peaceful surroundings that —might help decrease stress, which is associated with exhaustion and other aspects of my life for which needs relief. A new system might increase the very things I would be open to try that someone else might  suggest to eliminate stain . “Thats the process in the gathering of data to broaden potential” through trust.

There are a lot of skills and strategies that professionals, study and share with each other. Learning the diagnostic characteristics of people on the spectrum, their differences in social understanding, intense interests, reliance upon routines, unique loyalty in nature and sensory processing differences resulting in unique environmental stressors. Understanding the characteristics of autism spectrum disorder (ASD) helps the professional better understand the cognitive, sensory, and specific needs, however it leaves out one element that Is crucial in connecting with adults on the autism spectrum: the importance of trust.

While ASD itself isn’t traumatic, the result of growing up with undiagnosed ASD can be. The series of events that have occurred that could have been prevented with the care of acknowledgment through the years. Grounding of protection and understanding of the world truly unknown to the innocent mind of the autistic. If the person on the spectrum is an adolescent or an adult, she/he usually has had many years of trying to fit in, realizing somethings different and with mixed results. Memories may offer detailed histories of seemingly inexplicably failed overtures. Any lack of a trusting and nurturing support system along the way has not been of a positive contribution to provide a sense of ease and peace. Over the years, ordinary sights, sounds, or tactile sensations—bright sunlight on a snow-covered bank, the clamor of crowded places, load acute explosive noiseor an unexpected abrupt change or lack of consistency —have contributed to experienced traumatic intensity. Due to differences in social interpretation and communication, many autistics Step into occasions in which Have been offered too easily trust with  someone who has undermined trust given, whether intentionally or not. I’ve experienced my share of a combination of physical and emotional abuse and over a dozen surgical complications to exaggerate life even more. many times, I’ve just not trusted someone who might have played a positive role in my life. That’s changing now as wonderful people are showing up in my life in amazing ways demonstrating a genuine interest and that is helpful in the healing potential I am creating for my self and seeking to experience. The myth of those wit autism who act out is not willful or defiant, it is in fact a normal response to toxic stress. A great way to help is to create an environment in which they feel safe and can build resilience.”

In dissertation research, those with ASD identified four main qualities as being valued within their friendships: trust, support, connection, and shared interests. In other words, much like what most neurotypicals value. The difference, I will acknowledge, is that trust is a more fragile bond for adults with ASD than for neurotypical adults . Those who’ve experienced trauma, those people on the spectrum must have an environment in which they feel safe in order to develop.

Consistency and the opportunity for adaptation and trust is created from a coherent place. That’s how that immediately works. Autistics will give and try and bond with you loyally if you communicate and show them you’re reliable and not willing to sacrifice that trust. Understanding that trusted space and joined connection has brought something special to both.

Michael John Carley wrote that, in considering the issue of trust and ASD, “It is the partner without ASD who not only must first accept the obligation to change, but also make the greatest effort toward developing trust” (Prizant and Carley 2009). In my experience, it’s almost always the person with ASD who is working harder to maintain the relationship than is the neurotypical person; that the neurotypical partner must accept the responsibility to change is the first step in developing a relationship of trust. It is not obligatory that the person on the spectrum accept these efforts.

Whats special with and for people on the spectrum, is that each person has their own private club: as long as Youre in the club and know the system , we are delighted to have you join the club. Its a useful metaphor for understanding the sacred space and interactions. Every encounter is a reminder that could, at any time, bar a member from the club. Typically this occurs from selfish and unwarranted, at any time, unintentionally acted ways that re-open wounds of misunderstanding, violence, and abuse. Participating in cocreating a relationship, is neurotypicals responsibility to take the first steps to create a relationship of trust and maintain that energy.

These are some ways to encourage trust in relationships with adults with ASD:

Provide communication helps (e.g., computer typing; augmentative and alternative communication devices—even pencil and paper; written information in the form of pictures, checklists, or diagrams) if NVA.
Offer written multiple choices rather than open-ended questions, always including the option of “Something else. It is xyz
Create an environment that is structured to minimize sensory distractions.
Avoid demanding (or expecting!) traditional social interaction.
Set aside your own goals for the person; instead, wait to learn what her own goals might be. Listen to them and they will tell you more.
Be flexible in scheduling. Sometimes due to an individual’s processing speed, providing 90-minute sessions with communication breaks, rather than 60-minute sessions without breaks, often results in a more effective use of time.
Ask for more information, rather than interpret or assume what the person might mean, or worse, speak for her. Help and guide.
Listen. Often people with ASD have learned to seek “the right answer” with initial responses and require additional processing time to communicate their true response to direct questions.
Work from a vantage point of data collection, rather than goal direction. Even a system that does not result in achieving the desired goal can provide new information, which is helpful in working toward more effective life choices.
Acknowledge successes. Difficult times should be seen not as the result of personal failures but as opportunities to practice new skills. Help cultivate new potentials as opposed to assuming we just know how to do something.

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