September 7, 2014

True Strengths

This weekend I competed in my first event for 2014. An unplanned event, yet prepared for. I’ve been working hard to condition and strengthen my body. From the standpoint of having a healthy constitution alone.  Many of you do know know and wouldn’t even realize I’m fortunate to be living today after a long road of abuses  and in the year  to  bring the last piece of healing needed to order. I underwent a particularly challenging major operation in January of this year.  Anesthesia being a concerning aspect of the procedure along with the  those effects of that left  on my neurological system to address alone was one aspect. The depth of the duration and struggle in the unforeseen complicated  and very difficult recovery that followed was  another . With this it seemed that  competing was not going to be in the immediate future.  A hard notion to grasp since  the years between 2006-2012 had been lost.  This year has really brought me into a place of touching the wounds that needed healing in my life journey. The deeply seeded hurts, injuries, betrayals, persecutions, abandonment and judgement my life has been all came up in a massive wave as the surgery triggered me on so many levels. As many people know depression and autism come hand in hand and the insult my life had been This weekend I competed in my first event for 2014. An unplanned event, uniquely prepared for. After a particularly challenging major operation in January of this year and rough recovery competing was not in the seemingly immediate future. This year has really brought me into a place of touching the wounds that needed healing in my life journey. The deeply seeded hurts, injuries, betrayals, persecutions, abandonment and judgement my life has been all came up in a massive wave as the surgery triggered me on so many levels. As many people know depression and autism come hand in hand and the insult my life had been was needing acknowledgment.

My post is dedicated to those whom have come into my life with such positive consciousness in the reality of my journey. To those of you that stood by imageme in the recovery that this year has been. And to everyone who really knows and sees me in what this healing over the years preceding it has been. Thank you, for those of you whom have seen my will, listened to the petition and recognize the truth at hand of my reality and of what has been needed to heal the experience to save my life in all that has been real and true for me. Thank you for empowering me in a way that invoked self empowerment of the soul within me, and for stepping into my truth with me instead of turning away. As I stepped into the humility of the vulnerable place my reality has been in, it is those of you whom kept me strong and saw the surviving spirit. Allowing me to find a safe place to speak about the life that I have experienced and not be judged by its insults, abuses, neglects and abandons. In this catalytic event I have the set determination, confidence and focus to continue to repair the injuries I have suffered. I have the dedication with an allegiance and conscious support system to regenerate my nerve damage, repair muscle necrosis, improve my coordination and brain/ body comprehensive communication and function. My event was a complete victory because I was a participant and involved successfully in the Sport I love at 100% and through that perseverance I am a better stronger person everyday. I am healing everyday. And look forward to sharing more details about the depths this lifetime has been and intends Love and light Amberwas needing acknowledgment. My post is dedicated to those whom have come into my life with such positive consciousness in the reality of my journey. To those of you that stood by me in the recovery that this year has been. And to everyone who really knows and sees me in what this healing over the years preceding it has been. Thank you, for those of you whom have seen my will, listened to the petition and recognize the truth at hand of my reality and of what has been needed to heal the experience to save my life in all that has been real and true for me. Thank you for empowering me in a way that invoked self empowerment of the soul within me, and for stepping into my truth with me instead of turning away. As I stepped into the humility of the vulnerable place my reality has been in, it is those of you whom kept me strong and saw the surviving spirit. Allowing me to find a safe place to speak about the life that I have experienced and not be judged by its insults, abuses, neglects and abandons. In this catalytic event I have the set determination, confidence and focus to continue to repair the injuries I have suffered. I have the dedication with an allegiant and conscious support system to stand with me in my healing to regenerate my nerve damage, repair muscle necrosis, improve my coordination and brain/ body comprehensive communication and function. These friends – my lifeline, acknowledges  and support keep  me going.  My event was a complete victory because I was a participant and involved successfully in the Sport I love at 100% and through that perseverance I am a better stronger person everyday. I am healing everyday. And look forward to sharing more details about the depths this lifetime has been and intends. I’m just warming up.

Love and light Amber