Monthly Archives: November 2015

November 27, 2015

Mentally Strong People: The 13 Things They Avoid

By: Cheryl Conner
Contributor to Forbes.com
Originally Published Here

For all the time executives spend concerned about physical strength and health, when it comes down to it, mental strength can mean even more. Particularly for entrepreneurs, numerous articles talk about critical characteristics of mental strength—tenacity, “grit,” optimism, and an unfailing ability as Forbes contributor David Williams says, to “fail up.”
However, we can also define mental strength by identifying the things mentally strong individuals don’t do. Over the weekend, I was impressed by this list compiled by Amy Morin, a psychotherapist and licensed clinical social worker, that she shared in LifeHack. It impressed me enough I’d also like to share her list here along with my thoughts on how each of these items is particularly applicable to entrepreneurs.

1. Waste Time Feeling Sorry for Themselves. You don’t see mentally strong people feeling sorry for their circumstances or dwelling on the way they’ve been mistreated. They have learned to take responsibility for their actions and outcomes, and they have an inherent understanding of the fact that frequently life is not fair. They are able to emerge from trying circumstances with self-awareness and gratitude for the lessons learned. When a situation turns out badly, they respond with phrases such as “Oh, well.” Or perhaps simply, “Next!”
2. Give Away Their Power. Mentally strong people avoid giving others the power to make them feel inferior or bad. They understand they are in control of their actions and emotions. They know their strength is in their ability to manage the way they respond.
3. Shy Away from Change. Mentally strong people embrace change and they welcome challenge. Their biggest “fear,” if they have one, is not of the unknown, but of becoming complacent and stagnant. An environment of change and even uncertainty can energize a mentally strong person and bring out their best.
4. Waste Energy on Things They Can’t Control. Mentally strong people don’t complain (much) about bad traffic, lost luggage, or especially about other people, as they recognize that all of these factors are generally beyond their control. In a bad situation, they recognize that the one thing they can always control is their own response and attitude, and they use these attributes well.
5. Worry About Pleasing Others. Know any people pleasers? Or, conversely, people who go out of their way to dis-please others as a way of reinforcing an image of strength? Neither position is a good one. A mentally strong person strives to be kind and fair and to please others where appropriate, but is unafraid to speak up. They are able to withstand the possibility that someone will get upset and will navigate the situation, wherever possible, with grace.
6. Fear Taking Calculated Risks. A mentally strong person is willing to take calculated risks. This is a different thing entirely than jumping headlong into foolish risks. But with mental strength, an individual can weigh the risks and benefits thoroughly, and will fully assess the potential downsides and even the worst-case scenarios before they take action.
7. Dwell on the Past. There is strength in acknowledging the past and especially in acknowledging the things learned from past experiences—but a mentally strong person is able to avoid miring their mental energy in past disappointments or in fantasies of the “glory days” gone by. They invest the majority of their energy in creating an optimal present and future.
8. Make the Same Mistakes Over and Over. We all know the definition of insanity, right? It’s when we take the same actions again and again while hoping for a different and better outcome than we’ve gotten before. A mentally strong person accepts full responsibility for past behavior and is willing to learn from mistakes. Research shows that the ability to be self-reflective in an accurate and productive way is one of the greatest strengths of spectacularly successful executives and entrepreneurs.
9. Resent Other People’s Success. It takes strength of character to feel genuine joy and excitement for other people’s success. Mentally strong people have this ability. They don’t become jealous or resentful when others succeed (although they may take close notes on what the individual did well). They are willing to work hard for their own chances at success, without relying on shortcuts.
10. Give Up After Failure. Every failure is a chance to improve. Even the greatest entrepreneurs are willing to admit that their early efforts invariably brought many failures. Mentally strong people are willing to fail again and again, if necessary, as long as the learning experience from every “failure” can bring them closer to their ultimate goals.
11. Fear Alone Time. Mentally strong people enjoy and even treasure the time they spend alone. They use their downtime to reflect, to plan, and to be productive. Most importantly, they don’t depend on others to shore up their happiness and moods. They can be happy with others, and they can also be happy alone.
12. Feel the World Owes Them Anything. Particularly in the current economy, executives and employees at every level are gaining the realization that the world does not owe them a salary, a benefits package and a comfortable life, regardless of their preparation and schooling. Mentally strong people enter the world prepared to work and succeed on their merits, at every stage of the game.
13. Expect Immediate Results. Whether it’s a workout plan, a nutritional regimen, or starting a business, mentally strong people are “in it for the long haul”. They know better than to expect immediate results. They apply their energy and time in measured doses and they celebrate each milestone and increment of success on the way. They have “staying power.” And they understand that genuine changes take time

November 21, 2015

Autism Twilight

Autism- an unbound teaching for the collective about getting out of the way and allow for unconditional universal evolution. Allowing the divine essence of life to take the natural course. Catching the natural progression of the seasons it inteneds through the stages and growth from a multidimensional existence. Like the dancer through the changes in transition of the exhibition. Allowing the autumn day to change the colors in season, organically unveils the energy of the beauty of surrounding days. Help us harness our energy on the planet by creating ease in our lives in efforts to radiant through our twilight of autism soul path to open the ascensions way. image

November 17, 2015

Brilliance of Boosting Esteem and Sharing The Journey

The Brilliant Way This Special Ed Teacher Starts Class Every Day
Elisabeth Brentano Elisabeth Brentano Nov 17, 2015

Chris Ulmer first caught our attention earlier this year when he launched “Special Books by Special Kids,” a program that will allow students in his special education class to publish their stories in a book.

Ulmer, 26, who teaches at Keystone Academy in Jacksonville, Florida, posted a Facebook video on Sunday showing exactly what goes on in his classroom. The kicker? He spends 10 minutes every morning complimenting his kids and giving them high fives. “I have seen their confidence and self-worth skyrocket,” he wrote in a caption in the video.

Ulmer says many of his students were previously in an educational atmosphere where they felt defeated. “I consider it my job to reverse this psychological hardwiring and build up their esteem,” he told The Mighty. “Simple reminders of their positive attributes shifts student focus from what they can’t do to what they can do.”

“Instead of focusing on deficits I focus on talents,” Ulmer wrote in his Facebook video. “Instead of talking about peace, love and harmony I display peace, love and harmony. A child’s reality is shaped from early life experience. If they have a mean, jaded teacher they will think [of] the world as mean and jaded. But if a teacher displays love, harmony and peace…THAT will become their norm.”

“The children have become much more social and their communication skills have grown incredibly, both verbal and nonverbal,” Ulmer told The Mighty.

After just a few weeks of complimenting, he noticed his students started complimenting one another regularly. “They praise each other for accomplishments as if it was their own,” he added in the video caption. “They never insult one another and actively work towards helping each other.”

Many of his students have also developed the ability to look him in the eye and praise his teaching, which can also be seen in the video.

Found at his link with the article. themighty.com/2015/11/the-brilliant-way-this-special-ed-teacher-starts-class-every-day/#ixzz3rnDg6ewc

“Hate is a learned behavior,” Ulmer concluded. “Love is natural.”

Ulmer says many of his students were previously in an educational atmosphere where they felt defeated. “I consider it my job to reverse this psychological hardwiring and build up their esteem,” he told The Mighty. “Simple reminders of their positive attributes shifts student focus from what they can’t do to what they can do.”

“Instead of focusing on deficits I focus on talents,” Ulmer wrote in his Facebook video. “Instead of talking about peace, love and harmony I display peace, love and harmony. A child’s reality is shaped from early life experience. If they have a mean, jaded teacher they will think [of] the world as mean and jaded. But if a teacher displays love, harmony and peace…THAT will become their norm.”

“The children have become much more social and their communication skills have grown incredibly, both verbal and nonverbal,” Ulmer told The Mighty.

After just a few weeks of complimenting, he noticed his students started complimenting one another regularly. “They praise each other for accomplishments as if it was their own,” he added in the video caption. “They never insult one another and actively work towards helping each other.”

Many of his students have also developed the ability to look him in the eye and praise his teaching, which can also be seen in the video.

“Hate is a learned behavior,” Ulmer concluded. “Love is natural.”

Watch the video above and be sure to check out the Facebook page for Special Books by Special Kids, which is updated daily.

Read more: themighty.com/2015/11/the-brilliant-way-this-special-ed-teacher-starts-class-every-day/#ixzz3rnDg6ewc

November 14, 2015

Turning deficits into assets! Rigid inflexibility expressed as commitment and dedication!

Many “differences” for which we often call deficits, can be true benefits. Many people on the spectrum tend to have “all or nothing” thinking, for which is often labeled as rigid, inflexible thinking. This is often thought of in negative terms, because it leads to difficulty in times when flexible thinking is required. Whereas things are viewed very “black and white”, “either/or” or “right or wrong”, this type of thinking can also be an asset. When the person on the spectrum likes something, or is committed to something, he will go all out for it. He will commit full heartedly to whatever his passion or endeavor seems to be. Therefore, he can excel in a preferred vocational interest or favorite topic, be very disciplined in practicing, and persevere in the face of adversity. This “all or nothing” thinking can be very favorable when funneled in the right way. With the hyper-focused attention, strong passion to detail, and drive for perfection, our technology, personal life styles, and economy has benefited well from this type of thinking. Why change it, develop it!!

The same is true for friendships. Even though relating can be difficult for them, most people on the spectrum, once they befriend you, will be one of the most dedicated friends you will ever have. They will support you, help you out, and stand by you when things are not going well. If they are going to be your friend, they will be a “good” friend. If they like something, they “really” like something. They don’t go half way.

Most of the so called “deficits” in autism are simply “differences”. For many of traits we can either view them in a negative light (since they are not like ours), or we can view them in a positive light (strengths that we do not have). Why not redefine them and develop them into strengths. They grow stronger, and we grow wiser! A win win proposition!

This series on “Rigid/inflexible Thinking” can be found in the blue book, “Autism Discussion Page on the Core Challenges of Autism.”
www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_2?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=Bill+Nason

Toolbox of Strategies

The Autism Discussion Page
www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_2?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=Bill+Nason

Founded on a group of strategies for helping children on the spectrum feel “safe, accepted and competent!” The slide presentations, “Fragile World” series, provides a tool box of numerous strategies for parents, teachers and professionals to guide them in supporting children with autism and other special needs. From these slide presentations grew over three hundred articles that summarize the challenges that our world presents for these children and easy to understand, step by step strategies for supporting both the strengths and challenges with autism presents. This tool box incorporates a mixture of popular approaches (RDI, DRI, Son-Rise, Sensory Integration, ABA) within a framework that seeks to understand and respect the child’s uniqueness.

Most of these articles and tools have been compiled and published in the two “Autism Discussion Page” books. They are probably two of the most information packed, resource books of strategies you can purchase today. When the editorial board at Jessica Kingsley Publishers was reviewing the material they said each chapter could easily make individual books. Most people do not have the time to read twenty books. My purpose was to provide a comprehensive tool box in two condensed books for people to easily reference. These books are designed around three primary objectives, (1) provide and “inside-out” understanding how the child experiences the world, (2) provide detail, comprehensive strategies for helping the child, while (3) respecting and validating the emotional needs of the child. The approach of these books is to bring together information that will unite parents, teachers and professionals with a common foundation for supporting the children. To provide a framework for helping people on the spectrum to feel “safe, accepted and competent!”

You can purchase these books at amazon (link below) and other internal providers, as well as directly from the provider. Please consider expanding your knowledge as well as those that support your child and the sensitivities of their existence.